Guide Sitting on a Fractal Crack of Time

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Tuesday, May 8, Sincerity and Common Sense So let's say you just got out of a ten day detox and are back at home with your 6 year old kid.

Life isn't so good - you have a cocaine habit and a shitty attitude and you get pissed off easily but you love the kid and want it to work out with the good guy husband even though he is a bit mamby pamby and your favorite response to "how do you like your coffee? And you go back to rehab and your roommate is nothing like the one you had last time - the accountant wife of a lawyer who was over doing the red wine at dinner but who you got along with like a sister - this new roommate is some sort of psycho who the other patients tell you is crazy.

And nerd says, "Great I will get you a cup of coffee, how do you take it? Nerd says, "See you tomorrow". Nerd goes home. Wonders if she will beat up the roommate tonight and get kicked out and not be there tomorrow when he comes back. Posted by Steven at PM 0 comments. Labels: 12 steps , AA , acceptance , acoholism , compassion and consolation , sleeping tiger , suffering is optional , What you learn in Rehab. Monday, May 7, Quote of the week - Franzen on Wallace I recently met a young woman who is 31 years old, a mother of 8 year old twin boys one of whom died four months ago due to an accident.

Since the accident the woman has been taking ever increasing, excessive amounts of anti anxiety meds and drinking alcohol heavily. Got to the point of a psychotic depression, voices telling her about friends that are evil and God assuring her she did nothing wrong.

Amazingly sad and, as is the case with a despairingly high percentage of addicts and mentally ill, not likely to end easily or well. Sometimes there is justice, sometimes there is mercy, sometimes there is neither. As an aside, I want to add that she has a noticeably dignified countenance, a kind of sparkle and smile that would be described in anyone else as attractive but under her circumstances seems regal.

But there are a percentage of humans who, for whatever reason, cannot control their use. Those people become hooked and after a while use not to get high but just not to feel sick. They can be helped.

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I know this for a fact. And if they get sober I believe they and those who love them often appreciate their sobriety and are grateful for the everyday in ways that are, not for nothing, described as miraculous I know this for a fact as well. Labels: 12 steps , AA , acceptance , acoholism , addiction , al anon , bi-polar , brain chemistry , compassion and consolation , detox. I am not going to get into a discussion of controlled use of pot, or alcohol or other drugs or whether pot is a gateway drug that can lead to addiction. But I am going to think about hard core addiction Addicts who relapse frequently sometimes seem superficially better than the last relapse but their motivation for trying to get clean again is often more for a break from the mess of their lives rather than to lose the habit.

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Rarely does a relapsing addict have a sober network and the answer is a common one: "same friends but they support me" which I take to mean "same old drinking and drugging crowd who I need a break from every once in a while and then when I feel like getting high again welcome me back with open arms". In contrast are those in recovery who have lost the old friends and connected with new sober friends. So this got me thinking. Smirnoff or whatever their drug is more than anyone.

Addicts, like any parent, love their kids and they just like non-addict parents say and sincerely believe that they would take a bullet for their kids but the active addict parent, sadly, is the bullet. But the parent in recovery gives their child the incredible gift of real pride.

So to just take the drugs and the life style away without some other sense of purpose or meaning is not likely to work.

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Not sure about any of that but it seems right. I use the word selfish intentionally because it is one of the skills addicts bring to the table. Getting high is about as selfish an activity as there is. Also about as self destructive. So channelling that selfishness towards putting sobriety first even if that means not doing what family, friends, job, etc. Nicholas George. Benjamin Macalister. Jacob Snyder. Daniel Look. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.

Purchasable with gift card. This song was written by Paul and Hayden in , recorded in and mixed 5 days before release in It was meant to go on Conversations With Creation but didn't make it due to time restraints. We are so happy to finally release it! Long time coming! So I'm gonna I'm gonna go far and I never have to worry about driving the car My path is laid out though it's riddled with bombs All set to go off under the detonators thumb Who is the illusive one who calls the shots? Some ghost up above or his henchmen cops?

I'm feelin' kinda stressed and a little paranoid So i'll turn off my alarm and ignore the world Will you be be be be all you can be Will you see see see see all you can see Will you do, will you do that for me?

Or will run away from your destiny! Never let go! You can do it! Fight the fear!


That we all live with! Look in my eyes!

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We are human! Not divided bodies on an island!